News item: Astronomers have discovered a solar system 40 light-years away with seven Earth-size planets revolving around a small star. At least three of these planets have ecosystems conducive to life.

God: Did you hear about those planets just discovered, my son?

Jesus: Yeah, I saw it on The Huffington Post. By the way, it’s gotten so stridently partisan that I call it The Huff-and-Puffington Post. Hah hah. Get it?

God: Very clever, my son, in whom I am well pleased.

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